Why I Wish I Had Known that My Husband is a Perfectionist
By Heather Plett
Okay, I'm kind of kidding about this one, so don't go taking it all seriously or anything. I used to think I was a perfectionist... NOT anymore. In fact, I am far from being one! I've only learned this after being married.
Sometimes I think Ryan is a messy person. If you have ever seen his office, or his parent's basement when he lived in it, you would understand this. When he lived in his parent's basement it was frightening. Jackets were piled high on the "jacket couch". You couldn't use the jacket couch - it was piled high with a million jackets! Stacks of papers, CDs, clean laundry, dirty laundry, etc. were all over the place. The mantle was littered with various awards, figurines, invitations, cards, pictures, and the like. Posters were everywhere - hung up, lying on the ground, and propped up against the wall. He also seemed to be collecting candles - ranging from half burned pillars, to these really fancy ones from the 80s. I just saw something like this on Oprah yesterday, they call this physcological disorder "Hoarding". And, no, I don't watch Oprah all of the time!!! That's another story. Anyway, I used to fear that this same mess would migrate into my life and my home when we got married. Ryan assured me that he'd keep his own home much neater. Ya, uh-huh.
I'm going to try and keep this short, because I really could go on and on. ("What, Heather, you are hardly ever long-winded?!") This mess HAS migrated into our current life. Luckily for me, it has been contained mostly to Ryan's office, and has now slowly made its way into another room on the second floor. But what does this have to do with perfectionism? I'm getting there.
I think Ryan is messy because he doesn't clean up. He doesn't clean up because he fears the amount of time it would take him to do it right. For example, I vacuum our basement once a week. Ryan never vacuums his office. Why? (Other than the fact that very little of the floor is actually visible?) He doesn't do it, because if he did, he would feel compelled to move everything, yes, EVERYTHING out of the room and vacuum every inch of the rug. And, as long as everything is out of the room, he might as well go and rent a Rug Doctor and clean it too. As long as he can live in his filth, it means he doesn't have to spend time cleaning it to his liking. Are you catching this? Neat-Freak marries compulsive Hoarder... I mean Perfectionist.
In my (semi-professional) opinion, this is CRAZY!!! But still, I continue to love and cherish him.
By Heather Plett
Okay, I'm kind of kidding about this one, so don't go taking it all seriously or anything. I used to think I was a perfectionist... NOT anymore. In fact, I am far from being one! I've only learned this after being married.
Sometimes I think Ryan is a messy person. If you have ever seen his office, or his parent's basement when he lived in it, you would understand this. When he lived in his parent's basement it was frightening. Jackets were piled high on the "jacket couch". You couldn't use the jacket couch - it was piled high with a million jackets! Stacks of papers, CDs, clean laundry, dirty laundry, etc. were all over the place. The mantle was littered with various awards, figurines, invitations, cards, pictures, and the like. Posters were everywhere - hung up, lying on the ground, and propped up against the wall. He also seemed to be collecting candles - ranging from half burned pillars, to these really fancy ones from the 80s. I just saw something like this on Oprah yesterday, they call this physcological disorder "Hoarding". And, no, I don't watch Oprah all of the time!!! That's another story. Anyway, I used to fear that this same mess would migrate into my life and my home when we got married. Ryan assured me that he'd keep his own home much neater. Ya, uh-huh.
I'm going to try and keep this short, because I really could go on and on. ("What, Heather, you are hardly ever long-winded?!") This mess HAS migrated into our current life. Luckily for me, it has been contained mostly to Ryan's office, and has now slowly made its way into another room on the second floor. But what does this have to do with perfectionism? I'm getting there.
I think Ryan is messy because he doesn't clean up. He doesn't clean up because he fears the amount of time it would take him to do it right. For example, I vacuum our basement once a week. Ryan never vacuums his office. Why? (Other than the fact that very little of the floor is actually visible?) He doesn't do it, because if he did, he would feel compelled to move everything, yes, EVERYTHING out of the room and vacuum every inch of the rug. And, as long as everything is out of the room, he might as well go and rent a Rug Doctor and clean it too. As long as he can live in his filth, it means he doesn't have to spend time cleaning it to his liking. Are you catching this? Neat-Freak marries compulsive Hoarder... I mean Perfectionist.
In my (semi-professional) opinion, this is CRAZY!!! But still, I continue to love and cherish him.
Heather, i think,i mean, i know, that a lot of guys including myself need their "own" space or room. it seems that our wives have the rest of the house to decorate and we only get one little room (which is probably best that way)to clutter and decorate in our stuff. maybe i am a hoarder too, who knows. anyways,good luck with that.
"Baggs" (I have never, for the record, ever actually called you that), you are right. A man definately needs his own space. However, I still think it's possible to have a CLEAN cluttered space. Not necessarily NEAT, just CLEAN. :) I'm also thinking that his own space could be in a crawl space, or maybe the garden shed.