To Date Or Not To Date - That Is The Question
Okay, without making this scenario too specific - imagine a friend of yours has been separated from their spouse for over a year. He/She is still fairly young, and still has hopes of remarrying and having a family in the future. Eager to move on in life, and with 'possibilities' lining up at the door - your friend asks you for your opinion on whether or not he/she should start dating again - before the divorce is official. Should one wait for an official divorce before getting out into the dating world? A marriage is so much more than a document - is a divorce simply a document, that should be disregarded as a reason to date or not?
I'd like to hear your opinion, should a person start dating before the divorce is final?
Okay, without making this scenario too specific - imagine a friend of yours has been separated from their spouse for over a year. He/She is still fairly young, and still has hopes of remarrying and having a family in the future. Eager to move on in life, and with 'possibilities' lining up at the door - your friend asks you for your opinion on whether or not he/she should start dating again - before the divorce is official. Should one wait for an official divorce before getting out into the dating world? A marriage is so much more than a document - is a divorce simply a document, that should be disregarded as a reason to date or not?
I'd like to hear your opinion, should a person start dating before the divorce is final?
I guess its all really a matter of opinion. I know if it were me, I would wait. Lets say I just got seperated from someone I thought I would be married to forever, so I would think I would need to use that time inbetween (possibly more) to get my feet and mind situated with my own needs. I wouldn't want to have to worry about someone else, that would just be trouble, but everyone handles things differently.
I guess its all really a matter of opinion. I know if it were me, I would wait. Lets say I just got seperated from someone I thought I would be married to forever, so I would think I would need to use that time inbetween (possibly more) to get my feet and mind situated with my own needs. I wouldn't want to have to worry about someone else, that would just be trouble, but everyone handles things differently.
sorry Heather I poster two..Me BIG Dork
Thanks Krystle - I totally agree that there needs to be a fairly substantial amount of time spent in contemplation of the past events, and how they've come to pass. Is a year enough time to do that? Again, a marriage takes so much more time than a year to develop - in fact, a lifetime to develop - a divorce should probably be taken pretty seriously.
Wow tough question and I guess most of us don't have personal experience in such situations. I don't know don't you have to wait till you are not married to date? I would think you would want to start fresh and still having a husband might put a damper on a starting relationship.
I agree. I don't know that I could put the right emotions, etc. into dating when I still had a husband! That might be really hard for a potential "datee" to understand as well.
Looks to me like this young person in question needs to first "grow up".
This may sound harsh, but marraige is a serious LIFE LONG commitment, and to start asking for dating advice before a divorce is finalized...well that says it all.
Something is seriously wrong here.
In this day an age of bleeding heart liberal crap, I'm sure this opinion won't go over too well, but too bad. The facts need to be stated. The truth needs to be told.
As for your friend/acquaintance (or whomever this person is), I wouldn't give them any advice on this matter. They dug their own grave, and if I were you, I'd stay away from "advising" this person on their marital/dating status.
What that person does it up to them.
Or just print out this post and show it to them.
Case closed.
Thanks for your thoughts anonymous. I agree with you completely.
In response to anonymous, why don't you calm down...
What do you know about this person?
Do you really think that by Heather showing them your post they will change their ways and satisfy you?
Haven't you ever needed a little compassion?
I think I'll probably do what I always do - pray, and rely on God to provide me with the right answers. And if I don't have an answer, then I'll just keep listening.
Okay, I just have to know... Heather, are you posting as anonymous and arguing both sides? :D Karen and I have a few friends that are now divorced (actually, we know more divorced couples than couples who have stuck together), and for most of them, I believe they started dating while in the midst of their divorce. I think that if reconciliation is clearly out of the picture, then maybe it's time to start looking for that other, "special", someone. If you're going to get divorced, are you really cheating on your ex-spouse before the papers are signed? I don't think so.
Jason - I wondered when someone might ask if I was using my cyber-schitzophrenia on my own blog! I haven't yet!